10 Things I Learned from my Grandfather's Generation

The generation of people who helped defend this country and the entire world were truly a unique generation of people. As their numbers dwindle, I believe we owe them a shout-out.

Ten things I learned from "The greatest generation:"

1) Marry the one you love. It sounds simple doesn't it? Don't marry the one you like. Don't marry because you got her pregnant. Marry the one you love.

2) Don't divorce. See #1. If you marry the one you love, don't get divorced! She cheated on you? Work it out. She's nagging you? Work it out. Problems? Work them out!

3) Love your country. What did we learn from the hippie generation? Oh yeah. We learned to hate our presidents and to hate our country. Let's just forget about that one, ok? Be proud to be American!

4) Don't get so damned offended! Quit letting everything bother you! You wuss!

5) Don't be afraid to offend. See #4. If we try to appease everyone and offend nobody, we wind up in a politically correct world where we can't even say the Pledge of Allegiance in classrooms! Damn Kalifornians.

6) White men can't jump. Yeah, I said it. There are actually differences among us. Yes ladies, men are genetically predisposed to generally being better at math than you (See #4 and the Harvard incident). Yes men, women are genetically predisposed to being a better parent than you. You get the idea.

7) White men are not evil. Really. We're not. Get to know us, we're really not all that bad.

8) People die in war. Tens of thousands died in one day at Waterloo. Thousands died in one day at Saipan. Yet since 4000 have died in Iraq, you think it's the worst, bloodiest war of all time. You wuss.

9) People who kill should die. Kill someone? We'll fry you in the chair. Don't like it? Go to Canada.

10) The 1960s were the worst thing to happen to this country See #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.