Wednesday, April 30, 2008

A Mature Gesture from Joey

Joey has matured beyond his years over the last few months. I'm not sure how good of a thing it is, but it does have its advantages.

As you know, I work from home M - W because my employer rox.

Joey was up in his room for a couple hours this morning. He was being unusually quiet. A couple times I yelled up asking what he was doing, he said he was listening to music. No biggie.

He came downstairs and told me I needed to come look at his room because something was wrong. He tricked me.

He cleaned his room. Picked up the clutter, made his bed, etc. It was a pig sty. Now it's pristine.

The thing is he wasn't asked to do it. He saw that his room was dirty so he turned on some music and started cleaning.

It's the simple things that make a parent proud.

Monday, April 28, 2008

O Manbearpig, Where Art Thou?

It's almost May. I'm cold. I had to turn on my fireplace today because I refused to turn on my heater. Julie has to cover her spinach because it's going to freeze tonight.

It's almost May, Manbearpig! Where are you?

For those of you who are wondering, Manbearpig is a character on Southpark. They made fun of Algore and global warming. But instead of global warming it was Manbearpig. Half man, half bear, half pig. He's really big.

Seriously, where's global warming? I'm freezing my ass off!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Joey is Five!

I can't believe Joey's five. Five. Wow.

Joey's party was fun. Thank you to all who came! We enjoyed having you.

Except Greg of course. But the only way to get Danielle here was to have Greg.

Greg's Kanadian.


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Joey's Birthday Party

Joey's 5th birthday is Friday. His birthday party will be at our house on Saturday. Come over any time after 3:00.

If you get here before 3:00 that's fine. But I won't let you touch any food.

Joey wanted crabby patties so we're BBQing burgers. And I think that's it. Just burgers.

I wanted to charge a $20 cover at the door. Julie said no.

For those of you who haven't been around in a while remember it's Joey's party, not Andy's. I know you will want to see Andy, etc., but don't forget why we're getting together. We don't wanna hurt Joey's feelings.

Monday, April 21, 2008

A Joke

What's worse than a Kanadian taking a dump?

A British piece of crap.

("Greg" would have also been an acceptable answer)

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Where Are You Manbearpig?

It's cold! It's almost May for God's sake! And it's cold!

Algore, please have Manbearpig warm things up! We're really getting sick of this weather!

P.S. Happy 4/20

Saturday, April 19, 2008

I'm Such a Nerd

When I was a kid I was a nerd. Everyone knows that. I was picked on in elementary school. No biggie.

In my 20s I was a geek. And I was damn proud. Dot-coms were all the rage and suddenly it became cool to be a geek. Everyone was a geek.

In my 30s I'm back to being a nerd.

(Google your way around if you don't know the difference between a geek and a nerd.)

So in all my nerdy glory... well, let me back up a bit.

I like music. I like recording music and playing with that kinda stuff. However, the necessary equipment is expensive. Very expensive.

So what's a nerd to do? Build your own!

So last night I put the finishing touches on my headphone amplifier. Cost me all of $8 or so to build.

Tonight I'm going to work on my microphone preamp. That is, an amp that brings the mic to line level so it can go into a mixer. I've played with a couple of mic preamp circuits that I didn't like so I'm going ultra-nerd, grabbing my calcuator, and throwing down some mad algebra to design my own mic preamp circuit.

I'm such a nerd. But that's why you love me.

Hey SMGSI Dave, everything ok? Earthquake, that is....

Friday, April 18, 2008

STL's Best Kept Secret

A cow-orker of mine once claimed that Fenton is St. Louis' best kept secret. I think it's just the latest in the line of Arnolds, O'Fallons, St. Peters', etc. The houses all look the same and are extremely overpriced. The people who own those houses are always pissy because they're stressed because they can't really afford their ARM and their two SUV payments plus the payments on their 16-year-old spoiled brat's Cavalier.

No. St. Louis' best kept secret is Maplewood.

Yeah. Maplewood.

Sure, there's still ghetto parts of Maplewood. They're dwindling away.

Maplewood's really done a 180 over the last decade or so. It is a cool, hip little town. And while I'm proud to be in South City, I must admit it's pretty cool being about 2 miles from Maplewood.

Manchester in Maplewood is like Washington Ave. in STL only without the high prices and without the pretentiousness.

Would I want to own a business there? Yes! INVESTMENT! Would I want to own real estate there? Yes! INVESTMENT! Would I want to live there? Maybe in 2 or 3 years. :)

It's up and coming. I like what I see going on there though.

Greg you're a ruptured cyst in the asscrack of life.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Better Day Today

Yes, a much better day today. Yesterday was rough.

Then again I didn't work from home today. :)

Every once in a while you come across a product that just floors you. I came across one of those products today. In fact, everyone who was present really liked it. So that made for an exciting work day. I'm not going to go into detail because it's technical mumbo jumbo.

I had to be in O'Fallon, MO at 7am this morning. I'm in southwest city. That suxed.

I just realized I rarely talk about my job on here.

Oh yeah. Because it's technical, boring stuff. Well. I think it's exciting. But I'm a nerd.

How many Kanadians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Speaking of Kanadians... Hey Greg... Bite my ass!

Oh hey, global warming finally happened! It's April 17 and it FINALLY got over 50 degrees! Thanks Algore! I was really getting sick of the coldest spring we've had in years. Seriously, I'm sick of cold weather. Let's get a round of applause for Algore and Manbearpig!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Sometimes It's Not So Great...

So as usual my day started at 6:15am when Emma woke up and started knocking on her door. We came downstairs, she started breakfast, everything was okay. So I decided to go upstairs to brush my teeth and get dressed.

You guessed it. 6:40am and Emma was in the boys' room jumping up and down on Andy's bed. Keep in mind Joey & Andy usually sleep until 9:00.

So you can imagine just how well-behaved everyone was today. Oh yeah don't forget Emma's sick.

Finally! 10:30 came around! I made them an early lunch and put the babies in bed at 11:00. Andy went right down, no problems.

It's 2pm and Emma's still upstairs in her room alternating between being quiet and kicking on her door screaming. I occasionally go upstairs to tell her she's not coming out until she takes a nap.

I love my kids. I really do. But I can't wait for Julie to get home. She has the kids tonight. I'm going to lock myself in the basement or something along those lines.

Some days are better than others.

P.S. Who the hell is this "L" person who's checking on me? They seem to know me well and have known me for a long time. That narrows it down to about 4 or 5 people.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Hang Up and Drive!

Seriously. You're operating a motor vehicle. Hang up. Drive.

"But I'm Hands-Free!"

That's not a valid excuse, dummy! Your attention is still not on the road. Studies have shown that your reaction time is worse than an 80-year-old who has had 3 drinks.

As much as I'd love to see you Darwinized, you're putting other peoples' lives at risk too.

And don't call me if you're on the road!


Oh yeah. When you call me and I'm driving and I'm rushing you off the phone it's BECAUSE I'M DRIVING! Let me off the damn phone!

Monday, April 14, 2008


Monday doesn't bother me. Really. Sure I have a long week ahead but I like my job. It's fun. My grandfather told me he never worked a day of his life because he loved his job. I'd tend to agree with the ol' man.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Nice Weekend

I had a great birthday weekend (kinda)! Let's recap:

Friday - Emma woke me up at 6:00am as usual. But it's ok, I'm off work! No biggie. Wait for Joey & Andy to wake up, take them to my mom's. We hung out there for a bit. By the time I came home, Julie left work early to hang out with me on my birthday. We went out to eat at PF Chang's. After Chang's we hung out a bit. We wound up at Schlafley Bottleworks.

We had a couple drinks there, got a growler, then went to the Central West End with her sister & brother-in-law. The idea was we were going to dinner at Bar Louie. Absolutely no-frickin-where to park and it was cold as hell. After a bit of driving around I got frustrated so we came back to the house, I ate leftover pizza, then we went to a local place for a bit.

We were both asleep by 9pm.

Saturday - No hangover! I was hoping to have a hangover the day after the 10th anniversary of my 20th birthday. But I didn't. It turns out you need to drink to have one. Go figure.

So anyway we picked up Andy and took him to a photo shoot at the hospital. He is to be one of the kids featured on billboards, posters, etc. Good pics of him in the little car that he became synonomous with during his stays at the hospital.

That bothered me a bit. See, the last few days something has been bothering me in regards to Andy. I dunno. But that car. It sent chills down my spine. I think it's too soon, too fresh, too raw, to be exposed to that car.

Ok, put that behind us, ignore the coldass weather, and play with my new birthday present. Namely, my new grill! So I put on my leather coat and my hat to protect my ears from the 20-degrees-below-normal April chill. I went outside and I grilled. And it was good.

We had a fun Saturday with quite a few guests. A great time was had by all! I ate so much food that I simply couldn't handle it anymore. I was literally in pain.

And I think there was something in those brownies from Dweeze!

Sunday - We've pretty much hung out all day. The kids were generally well-behaved.

Emma put a piece of candy in her nose. Deep up there. We couldn't get it out. We were in the truck getting ready to go to the ER when she finally sneezed it out.

Just another day in paradise.

Oh, BTW, why the "Kinda"? Like I said, I'm still reeling a bit from what we went through with Andy. Some days are better than others. Friday & Saturday were bad days for those thoughts. And yes I know what you're thinking. I'll be calling my doctor this week.

By the way, many folks have asked about Greg. Here is some video:

Friday, April 11, 2008

Maple Leafs are Gay

I only say this because Kanadians love them so.

So anyway on this, the 10th anniversary of my 20th birthday, I've been contemplating a few things.

First of all, I've had this dreadful feeling for a couple of days. Somewhere in an alternate universe, chemo didn't work for Andy or maybe we didn't catch it in time. I just have this dreadful feeling that if things wouldn't have gone well, this would be about the time we'd be making funeral arrangements. I know that's such a horrible thing to even think, let alone say, but that's why I have this website so I can get this kinda stuff out.

On a much lighter note I was thinking about the issue of respect. Notoriously I haven't been able to garner much respect because of my age. People always say things like, "I know you have education but I have experience." I'm starting to think this is because they're jealous of my education. Screw you and your experience. Now that my age starts with a "3" instead of a "2" do I now have enough experience to be taken seriously?



Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Life Rox

I've decided I'm one of the luckiest guys in the world. Here's why.

Yesterday I was at work when I decided I wanted a soda. So I plopped Andy in his stroller (cuz he walks slow), told Emma to hold the stroller and Joey to hold Emma's hand. We all proceeded to walk to the gas station where I got my soda and the kids each got a small treat. Yeah. I was "at work" when I walked with my kids to the gas station.

After we walked back home I resumed my work day.

I work from home 3 days a week. The brats stay home with me. Sure it takes more than 8 hours to get in an 8-hour work day, but it's not really so much about the hours as it is getting the job done. I'm lucky (or talented?) enough to be able to not only do my job exceptionally well but to also be a good dad at the same time. Yeah I'm tooting my own horn saying I'm exceptional at my job but then again everyone at my particular place of employment is exceptional.

I also find myself from time to time looking at Andy, smiling, and saying, "Boy I'm glad you're alive." Not all cancer parents can say that to their cancer kid. That's quite a blessing.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Ok, That's Enough

I'm really sick of redneck stuff. I'm sick of the word redneck. Redneck jokes. Etc. That's it. No more rednecks. I hate that word!

Speaking of rednecks, Mr. Kanadian man, I'll have you know I grew up in Arnold! But in Arnold, BBQ means firing up the gas grill and throwing on a steak or 2. That's not BBQing.

OBTW, I have the audio from the CMN interview. When I can find someone to give me enough space / bandwidth, I'll post a linky.

Monday, April 7, 2008

First "BBQ" of the Season

So the first "BBQ" of the season is now under our belts. I put "BBQ" in quotes because in St. Louis, we refer to grilling as BBQ. In fact, St. Louis-style BBQ is actually grilled not barbecued at all.

No pork steaks. We had brats and salciccias. Instead of coming from Schnucks, though, they came from a local German meat market. They were awesome.

I took some Maull's and added some Budweiser and a buttload of garlic. Let it simmer a bit. It was a great complement.

Of course you'll recall some inconsiderate kid decided to melt plastic all over my grill at Andy's first birthday, so we're using a loaner grill for the time being.

It was good. I did BBQ, Julie did her famous potato salad and other indoor goodies. I threw back a few and wound up with a buzz. The weather was great. The kids played outside.

It felt good being a normal dad again.

Now a word on Saint Louis-style BBQ. Also known as South City BBQ.

It starts with the meat selection. The meat notoriously comes from either Schnucks or another local meat market including but not limited to Soulard Farmer's Market. The St. Louis staple is a pork steak. For those of you not from the area, a pork steak is simply a pork butt sliced into steaks.

Along with pork steaks, we usually do brats, salciccas, or another type of sausage. Burgers, too, are commonplace as is chicken.

The next step is to fire up the grill. Notice I said grill not smoker. St. Louis style "BBQ" means grilling in a Weber.

Once a good fire is going, throw it on! Burgers and chicken. go over the direct heat. Sausages and pork steaks go farther away from the fire.

Turn often!

If a fire flares up, throw a bit of beer on it.

Once the meat is almost done, grab your Maull's BBQ sauce and slop it on. If some of the sauce chars, that's fine. Personally I don't like burned sauce so I keep a very close eye on it and only let it go for a couple of minutes. Just long enough to make the sauce pretty much stick to the meat.

When it comes off the grill, it's moved to a dish that is full of Maull's. Drown that meat! Let it stand 5 - 10 minutes before eating.

Finish watching the Cardinals game, have one more beer, then make the kids clean up the mess.

That's St. Louis-style BBQ.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

ER Trip

Yeah. You read the title correctly. ER trip. Andy was 102.0. Called the oncologist, we were told to get him to the ER. By the time we got there he was 103.2.

The usual:

1) Arrive and be immdiately taken back, avoiding the waiting room
2) Piss off Andy
3) Access his port
4) Suck his blood
5) Give him that antibiotic that kills the hell out of everything for 24 hours
6) Give him Tylenol
7) Get normal lab results
8) Discharge

Get this. If he runs a fever again tomorrow, he'll probably be admitted.



Coldest winter we've had in a while. The most snow since I was in 6th grade. It's snowing in Chicago in April. This is the coldest spring I can remember.

But if I were to ask Algore, I'm sure he would say it's because of global WARMING.

Hahahahaha. What a nut.

It's April 5. When can we dump winter and move on to Spring? When, Algore? When?

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I'm Not Your Guy, Budday!

Best. Southpark. Evar.


On so many levels.



OBTW. Butters' lil' video? Yeah. That's Greg. Totally.

For the Last Time....

I know it's 2008. That pager attached to my pocket? It's not my personal pager! We use pagers at work because they are more reliable than cell phones for transmission of text. Nothing more, nothing less.

OBTW, I just rickrolled the entire Kelley family. Ha!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

10 Things I Learned from my Grandfather's Generation

The generation of people who helped defend this country and the entire world were truly a unique generation of people. As their numbers dwindle, I believe we owe them a shout-out.

Ten things I learned from "The greatest generation:"

1) Marry the one you love. It sounds simple doesn't it? Don't marry the one you like. Don't marry because you got her pregnant. Marry the one you love.

2) Don't divorce. See #1. If you marry the one you love, don't get divorced! She cheated on you? Work it out. She's nagging you? Work it out. Problems? Work them out!

3) Love your country. What did we learn from the hippie generation? Oh yeah. We learned to hate our presidents and to hate our country. Let's just forget about that one, ok? Be proud to be American!

4) Don't get so damned offended! Quit letting everything bother you! You wuss!

5) Don't be afraid to offend. See #4. If we try to appease everyone and offend nobody, we wind up in a politically correct world where we can't even say the Pledge of Allegiance in classrooms! Damn Kalifornians.

6) White men can't jump. Yeah, I said it. There are actually differences among us. Yes ladies, men are genetically predisposed to generally being better at math than you (See #4 and the Harvard incident). Yes men, women are genetically predisposed to being a better parent than you. You get the idea.

7) White men are not evil. Really. We're not. Get to know us, we're really not all that bad.

8) People die in war. Tens of thousands died in one day at Waterloo. Thousands died in one day at Saipan. Yet since 4000 have died in Iraq, you think it's the worst, bloodiest war of all time. You wuss.

9) People who kill should die. Kill someone? We'll fry you in the chair. Don't like it? Go to Canada.

10) The 1960s were the worst thing to happen to this country See #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.