Monday, June 30, 2008


I played my first golf game of 2008 this last Saturday. My office's golf tourney. Our team came in 7 under par (includes 1 mulligan and 2 toss 'ems per person). But we still maanged to come in last place. 14th out of 14 teams. Not sure how that happened. But the schwag. Oh the schwag. It was a fun time.

But now I hurt. I even made it a point to stretch prior to the game. Kept myself hydrated. blah blah.

30 sucks.

I should point out that the running joke of the day was to refer to Greg as a Kanadian. The funny part is that I didn't really infer that he was Kanadian. It just came out. "Why is it that everyone thinks I'm Kanadian?" says Greg. That was funny.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Peter Griffin! (fixed)

Sorry for the bad image. It's now fixed.

Happy Friday!

Greg is a Kanadian crap weasel!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Someday You Will Find Me

Caught beneath the landslade,
And a Champagne Supernova in the sky.

How many special people change?
How many lives were living strange?

'cause you and I will never die.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Random Neurons Firing!

It's been quite a while since the last time random neurons fired like crazy. Right now I'm sitting here waiting for a job to finish for work, so I have a few spare minutes. Time for a brain dump.

Greg. What else can I say? You're Kanadian. You'll always be Kanadian. Quiche tastes like crap and is only eaten by homosexual Kanadian dwarves. Munchos aren't bad but breakfast? Kanadian!

Kalifornians. Please quit trying to run the country.

This video aired on Noggin which is a channel that the kids watch. I find this disturbing on many levels.

Why aren't displaced flood families screaming for FEMA like in Katrina? Oh yeah, because they actually heeded warnings. And they're not used to having everything handed to them by the government.

PTSD sux!

Cancer sux!

Kanada sux!

Greg sux!

I have a Kandian flag hanging in my basement. Courtesy of Greg of course.

The thinner deli meat is sliced the better it is. Unless it's ham. I love a ham steak.

I'm going to grill some ham steaks. And I'm gonna smother them in habanero jelly while they're on the grill. That will rox!

Andy's running a bit slow, developmentally, from a speech perspective. He's just not wanting to talk. He can understand what you say to him but he just won't talk.

Emma's running a bit slow on potty training. She simply won't go.

Courtney Love is still a skank ho.

"I don't think they realize how much they suck!" -- Dave Grohl, c1992-ish, talking about Extreme.

I have no sympathy for drug addicts. Don't get me wrong, I'm of the view that if people want to do something fun that gives pleasure, go for it! But if you get in too deep, it's your own damn fault, get out of it or go the hell away. You probably got there from feeling sorry for yourself to begin with. of about on under beside.

I can't listen to Champagne Supernova without getting that dreadful feeling.

I still haven't shed a single tear over the whole Andy-cancer thing. Not one.

P&B are honorary Kelleys. We still can't thank the two of them enough for everything they did for us while Andy was sick.

We need to get Greg's mom and dad over for some BBQ sometime soon!

I have a golf tourney coming up this Sunday. Should be fun.

2-year-olds are a pain in the ass!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Ow, That Hurt!

Andy slept very late today. Like until 9am.

But I wasn't exactly complaining about that! (see my "burned out" post from yesterday)

When he woke up I walked in his room. He normally pops up and gets excited. Instead he was just lying there looking at me.

When I picked him up he just put his head on my shoulder and let me carry him. Last time he did that was our last time in the hospital when his counts were around 1.

Andy may have caught a little bug that's slowing him down a bit.

The problem is the feelings it conjures up. Deep, dark feelings that I haven't felt in a while. Andy sick. Not a good thing.

Immediately my stomach felt like it was being wrenched and twisted. The IBS meds helped a bit with this.

It's weird. When my kids get sick I pretty much take the, "You're okay, drink fluids and get over it" approach. Not insensitive but not over-comforting either. It's different with Andy though.

I guess I'll run this incident past the counselor I've been working with. (with whom I've been working, sorry Greg)

Classic PTSD I guess.


Monday, June 23, 2008

Burned Out

Monday - Wednesday here's my schedule:

6:30am - Emma wakes up. The crying & screaming for no reason begins.
7:30am - Andy wakes up. The crying & screaming for no reason begins.
8:00am - Joey wakes up. He's well-behaved.
9:00am - The crying and screaming finally subsides.

All throughout the day - I'm constantly harassed for something to eat. If I give in to one, they all want the same thing.

All throughout the day - Emma and Andy fight over cups.

Lunch time - They all have to have exactly the same thing. If one has something that the others don't, they start screaming.

I get some peace between 11:30 and 1:30 (sometimes later) while the younger ones are in bed.

1:30 - 3:30 - More screaming for no apparent reason.

After Julie gets home she takes over a bit but I can't rely on her to take 100% of the load.

I'm burned out. These little 2-day and 3-day vacations aren't cutting it. I need 2 weeks away.

Not gonna happen.

Free Hat!


Sunday, June 22, 2008

What a Nice Weekend!

Friday, as I recall, we did a whole lot of nothing.

Saturday I bbq'd (technically I grilled) my world famous hamburgers. I made a BBQ sauce at around 11:00am and let it boil down for about 3 or 4 hours. Did my burgers, threw them on the grill. I took the spices from my sauce that didn't get mixed in and coated a few strips of bacon with them. The bacon, too, went on the grill. Top it off with some grilled-on cheddar and some grilled vandalia onions and we had one helluva meal! P&B came over and helped us enjoy the Q.

Of course the buns were grilled too. I brushed on some melted butter w/ garlic to add to the effect. :)

Today (Sunday) we went to the in-laws. I went with my father-in-law a few days ago to help him pick out a computer. Helped him get setup today. I bought some 410 shells on the way out because Joey wanted to shoot and a 410 is a good place to start. I fired off one shot to show Joey what the recoil would look like. After that loud noise he decided no way.

But no big deal. Because we took his Little Tykes Hummer H2 out there with us this time. He had a blast riding it all over that big yard.

Of course it was capped off with some BBQ chicken. :)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Add Kid Rock to the "Cool" List

Wow, 2 posts in one day yet again.

Anyway, here's why Kid Rock is on the "Cool" list now.

Andy Thanks Me Every Day

I can't really describe it but I'll try. Every day, give or take, Andy gives me the knowing look. I saw that look many times when we were in the hospital. He'll follow that knowing look with a hug, maybe a kiss, or some other form of affection.

He knows that he and Daddy went through something and that there is a special bond. He thanks me every day.

I know this will pass as he begins to completely forget about everything. I'll enjoy it while I can.

You're welcome Andy. I love you too.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Training Training Training

Sitting in training. Boring. Training classes tend to move at the pace of the lowest common denominator. *sigh*

Hey Greg. u sux

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Add Kiss to the List

Metallica was bad enough with Napster. Their integrity sold on e-bay for about $2.00 a few weeks later (true story). Then they came out with this crap a few weeks ago. They're officially on my "never pay for again" list.

Add Kiss to that list. Not that I would put money in that arrogant asshole Simmons' pocket anyway, but now I have an official reason. Here's why.

My response to that article: go back to the 70's Gene.

Andy's Hospital Visit

When we got to the hospital Andy knew where he was. He walked straight back to the Costas Center. However, when I opened the door to Costas he didn't want to go in. In fact he wouldn't. I had to pick him up. He used to love the playroom in Costas.

He's up to 25 pounds now!

So anyway his port was accessed and he was sent back to CT. He didn't really know where he was going but when he got there he knew where he was and recognized some faces.

After some minor sedation they did the scan.

No hearing test this time. They'll do that in a couple of months.

We'll be talking to the oncologist in a couple of weeks. I really hope to hear that we'll be getting his port removed at that point. We'll see.

Basically an unventful hospital visit. Andy's Costas nurse, as well as the CT nurses, were happy to see him looking healthy. When you work in that situation I guess you're always happy to see the success stories.

After the hospital visit, we went out to lunch with mommy. Andy enjoyed it!

More later.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Ribs, Ribs, and More Ribs! Yay!

Anyone who knows me will tell you that my second favorite thing in the world is ribs. And this weekend, despite the oncall crap, was quite the rib weekend!

Saturday we went over to B&P's for B's birthday. Happy birthday! Anyway, P made some awesome ribs. Pork spare ribs and babybacks. Slow smoked, all day long, at a low temp. Homemade BBQ sauce. They were excellent! Julie always grills pork spares (and they RAWK!), but I think this was my first time having smoked pork spares.

Sunday we went to my mom's. Then I got paged. While I was working Julie went to lunch with her dad at Applebee's and brought me back some ribs. I had them for lunch today. Yay ribs!

After we left my mom's we went to my dad's. He made some ribs as well, starting the night before. They, too, were excellent.

I love ribs. I think I may do some daddy-style BBQ ribs this weekend, slow-smoked of course. We'll see.

While I was at my dad's, I fed Loogie. Remember Loogie, the dog who eats everything? I wanted to make sure he had his fiber so I ripped up a paper towel into small pieces and fed it to him one at a time. He absolutely loved it. He gobbled down the pieces faster than I could tear them. He ate a shovel recently so I figured he needed extra fiber to properly digest and pass the iron from the shovel.

I'm Tired

What a weekend. Many plans pushed aside because I was on call. Now comes the hangover. I'm really tired.

But it will be worth it come Friday. I get "call pay" on this paycheck. I'm salaried so I can't get overtime so this is as close as I can get to having any extra money.

But I'm tired. It's tough being on call. Oh well.

Have a great week everyone! Thank you for the guitar riffs (you know who you are). Sounded good, I'd like to hear more!

P.S. Patience, you feeling better? :)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Joy of Being On Call

It's 3:44am on Saturday. I have a lot to do tomorrow. I've been working on a problem since midnight and have at least another hour to go, more likely 2 hours or more.

Oh well. Part of the job.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Grandpa Dreams

I keep having Grandpa dreams. For some reason I always remember them. I don't remember very many dreams.

I have a feeling that when Grandpa is finally "gone" in my dreams, I'll be past this.

In my dreams I know he shouldn't be here. But he is. Lately he's been getting more and more distant, almost as though he is, in fact, dead but is visiting. In the last couple of dreams his voice has been there but he isn't there. I'm wondering if this means it's getting close.

The good news is that I haven't had a high school dream in a while. :)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

In the Vortex

I want to hear bass or guitar riffs. No particular style. Death metal, country, pop, electronic, whatever. I just want to hear it. E-mail it to me. You know the address.

When you look inside yourself
And see what no-one sees
Are you surprised?
Are you really?

Pretend you did not know
Pretend you did not see
Pretend you did not say
The things you said to me

You think you know yourself
Believe what no-one agrees?
Have you realized
Your own reality?

Pretend you did not know
Pretend you did not see
Pretend you did not say
The things you said to me

If you think
You can control me
With such simple desire

You better try
To figure out
Your own weakness

Because I'm there
In the Vortex

Pretend you did not know
Pretend you did not see
Pretend you did not say
The things you said to me

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

It's Official

I've been officially diagnosed with PTSD. Obviously not much of a surprise to anyone. Fortunately it's very treatable.

Additionally I'm having some grief issues in regards to Grandpa.

And the two things are tying in together.

In talking to the counselor today I pretty much scraped the bottom of the emotional pit in which I find myself. It was a very painful hour.


greg = sux

Dad's Recovery Continues

It's getting better but it's getting worse. I'm not really sure exactly what to think. My mood swings are worsening but Julie's dealing with it very well. My stomach problems are getting better. I don't find myself staring off into space for no apparent reason anymore. At least not as often.

I'm starting to come to grips with the whole cancer thing I think.

However I still can't let go of Grandpa. This is apparent in my dreams. And when I have a "Grandpa dream" I'm a bitch all day. I had one last night.

Per my doctor's instructions I will be contacting my company's EAP today and go from there.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Old Skool Pic of Greg

I found an old skool pic of Greg, circa 1991, thereabouts.

Clicky the Linky!

Friday, June 6, 2008


You'll recall from the Andrew 4 Life site that I had a before / during treatment picture of Andy. I've now made it a before / during / after.


Thursday, June 5, 2008

Andy's MRI and Hearing Test

On 6/17 we'll be taking Andy to Glennon for an MRI and hearing test. Hopefully this is the last hearing test. This should be his last MRI for a while too.

Hopefully he will be able to get his port removed and be taken off the Bactrim, which is the last of the meds.

Even though we know his cancer is gone this is still a bit unnerving. What if they find something? You know...

Anyway we're almost out of the woods here. One last little hurdle to get past.

Stay tuned!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Guess Who's Losing a Tooth?


Julie grilled some steaks tonight. Medium. aka Perfect. :)

Joey now has a loose tooth. This is our first loose tooth. Julie was excited.

Dinner roxed. :)

Monday, June 2, 2008

Spheksophobia Season is Here!

Yes, spheksophobia. It's the fear of wasps. Actually it's the fear of stinging insects. Ever since I was stung in the head by a wasp at age 10 I've had spheksophobia. When I see anything with a stinger be it a wasp, hornet, or even a honeybee, I run. I need to get away from the thing. In fact there are a few days throughout the spring and summer where these insects are out in full force. I don't even go outside on these days.

Sure, make fun of me for it. Everyone else does. This adds to the anxiety knowing that I'll be ridiculed for it, which in the end exacerbates the problem.

I know it's an irrational fear, as is my fear of heights and my fear of water. That's why it's a full-blown phobia, not just a fear.

I've heard that there are shrinks who can help one fix phobias in one session. Maybe it will be worth forking over the dough for an hour or 2 to get rid of this fear and the ridicule that goes along with it.

Oh well. Back to my work. Happy Monday everyone.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

We Won!

Our table came in first place by a half a point. Go us!

So then we came back here and hung out. I finally passed out on the couch somewhere between 12 and 1. Julie said they were up past 3. Ouch!