Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Bye 2008! Gfy!

Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.

In fact, I'm really happy that we're into the last year of this decade. (Shaddup Greg, I'm referring to public perception not actual reality) In my not-so-humble opinion, there were only 5 good things to come out of this decade: Julie, Joey, Emma, Andy, and YouPorn. That's about it.

This should be a fun NYE. We'll be at Julie's sister's house which is stumbling distance away. My dad is watching the boys, my mom is watching the Princess. I have a case of Schlafly Oktoberfest. I'm off work tomorrow. I'm spending the day hydrating myself. And Greg is Kanadian.

It never fails, though. And I may have mentioned this last year. I always have a very strange feeling on NYE. I can't really put my finger on it to describe it. Kinda a heightened sense of awareness. Also a heightened sense of empathy. It's just strange. Throw a few more drinks on top of that than I really need... Well. Thank God for Julie.

Have I mentioned that 2-year-olds are a pain in the ass?

Julie made some pizzas a few days ago. Instead of putting ham on them she used Kanadian bacon. Joey asked why Kanadians call it bacon. I told him it's because they're so stupid they think ham is bacon. My kids must think Kanadians are the biggest idiots in the world.

2008 suxed. 2009 can't be worse.

OBTW, thank you Manbearpig! I really enjoyed yesterday's weather. Please come back!


Anonymous said...

Hello, long time reader, first time writer. My name is Vladimir Jackinov. By my name you can tell that I am from Kerplakistan (a breakoff republic of the old soviet union).
I have noticed you really do not like the Kanadians, by the numerous hateful, tasteless comments you, your family and friends post on a regular basis. It is already 2009 here, though we just had the internet installed last month. We hope to have netflix soon, this will help us catch up with the rest of the world.
I thought I would let you know that our country has missles pointed at Kanada. It is not for defense (let's face it, who can they intimidate), we just like messing with their heads.
As for Kanadian Bacon and your kids thinking that all Kanadians are idiots, they are correct. In our country we say that a Kanadian with 2 brain cells is pregnant! We have replaced all polish joke punchlines, with Kanadians. If you know any, try it because it works. I suppose the only thing worse than a Kanadian is a lesbian french kanadian. Do you happen to know one of those????
2009 will be full of wonders. The Cubs will falter again, Al Gore will solve global warming by letting his cold hearted wife expose herself in public (thus ushering in another ice age), Keno will be introduced as an upcoming olympic sport, Illinois will be annexed to kanada, Brian Boitono and Tom Cruises' affair will be exposed and Mexico will officially be declared the 51st state (oh wait, that is Texas). Scratch the last prediction.
Tuck Fexas!!!!
Cuck the Fubs!!!!
Buck Putt Flugs!!!!

Ariesgeek said...

Greg FTW!

Anonymous said...

Your wife roccks thank you! You and your family have always been there for us on the drop of a dime! Spud thanks you!1