Yeah. You knew it was coming. I have turned to Facebook for my venting. I don't really update this blog anymore. There are only a small handful of you (at least I think) who haven't friended me on Facebook. For the remainder of you, you know where to find me.
I may occasionally post a rant or two on here, but for now I'll see you on Facebook.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Dear Television
Dear Television,
I'll come right out and say it just to make this easier on both of us. I'm just not into you anymore. Look, it's not you, it's me. You've changed, sure, but for the better. You're bigger. You're smarter. You're clearer. You look stunning. In fact you look better than ever.
But looks aren't everything.
To be fair, I need to let you know, there's someone else. And I think you know who I'm talking about. I'm not going to hurt your feelings by telling you that the other party is smarter, funnier, freakier (heh), and younger. But. Well. You know it's true.
I'll spit it out. It's the Internet. But you knew that, didn't you? You've known for some time this would happen.
We can and will still be friends. Late at night on a weekend when I've had a couple too many drinks, you know we'll hook up. We always have and always will. And hey, who knows. Maybe a few years down the road, the three of us could.. well you know where that's going. Oh, but think of the possibilities if only you'd let the Internet plug into you...
Of course you'll still get to see the kids as often as you want. They love you, and that love is unconditional. They'll always be there for you (and your little yellow sponge of course).
I must be going now. I need to catch the latest news and as you know... well.. I just can't wait around any longer for you to tell me the news when I can get it instantly from the Internet.
Take care, be well, and I'll see you soon I promise.
Love,
Me.
I'll come right out and say it just to make this easier on both of us. I'm just not into you anymore. Look, it's not you, it's me. You've changed, sure, but for the better. You're bigger. You're smarter. You're clearer. You look stunning. In fact you look better than ever.
But looks aren't everything.
To be fair, I need to let you know, there's someone else. And I think you know who I'm talking about. I'm not going to hurt your feelings by telling you that the other party is smarter, funnier, freakier (heh), and younger. But. Well. You know it's true.
I'll spit it out. It's the Internet. But you knew that, didn't you? You've known for some time this would happen.
We can and will still be friends. Late at night on a weekend when I've had a couple too many drinks, you know we'll hook up. We always have and always will. And hey, who knows. Maybe a few years down the road, the three of us could.. well you know where that's going. Oh, but think of the possibilities if only you'd let the Internet plug into you...
Of course you'll still get to see the kids as often as you want. They love you, and that love is unconditional. They'll always be there for you (and your little yellow sponge of course).
I must be going now. I need to catch the latest news and as you know... well.. I just can't wait around any longer for you to tell me the news when I can get it instantly from the Internet.
Take care, be well, and I'll see you soon I promise.
Love,
Me.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
You know that phase where they refuse to go to bed?
I have two of them in that phase right now. One in the beginning of it and one at the end of it.
But... I'm thankful that they're all of the age where they can dress up in costumes and have fun trick-or-treating on Halloween.
For what it's worth, 10/31/2009 will be the 2nd anniversary of the day Andy had his big surgery.
Halloween at the Kelley house. If you think you're invited, you probably are. Even if you think there's only a small chance you may be, you probably are. It's a Saturday and the Kelley kids will never be 3, 4, and 6 on Halloween again.
But... I'm thankful that they're all of the age where they can dress up in costumes and have fun trick-or-treating on Halloween.
For what it's worth, 10/31/2009 will be the 2nd anniversary of the day Andy had his big surgery.
Halloween at the Kelley house. If you think you're invited, you probably are. Even if you think there's only a small chance you may be, you probably are. It's a Saturday and the Kelley kids will never be 3, 4, and 6 on Halloween again.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
It's hard being bald in this weather
You lose heat out your head, you know. And when there's no hair there to help keep you warm.... brrrr..
Speaking of bald, it's time to sign up for St. Baldrick's again. I really want to shave again but I like being bald. I look and feel horrible with hair on my head, since it grows so sporadically now.
I don't think I'm going to shave this year. Maybe I'll just donate on Julie's head if she shaves.
Thoughts? Rude comments?
Speaking of bald, it's time to sign up for St. Baldrick's again. I really want to shave again but I like being bald. I look and feel horrible with hair on my head, since it grows so sporadically now.
I don't think I'm going to shave this year. Maybe I'll just donate on Julie's head if she shaves.
Thoughts? Rude comments?
Monday, September 21, 2009
My Kids' World
My kids are growing up in a world where:
- It has always been possible to pause live TV
- CD players are a thing of the past. (and what is a cassette tape?)
- TV has always been in HD and widescreen.
- Cash is used only for the smallest of purchases, such as a fountain soda or a pack of gum.
- Tony Larussa has always been the manager of the Cardinals.
- Online social networks are just another aspect of social life.
- There never were WTC towers in NYC.
- Video conferences across the globe are the norm. Nothing special about it at all.
- It's not cool to smoke.
- The Internet has always been around. More specifically, "web apps" have always been around.
- It's cool to be bald.
- There is a migration from the suburbs to the cities.
- Phones with cords attached? Never heard of such a ridiculous thing!
- Video games do not require imagination.
- The Rams have never been in the playoffs.
- High schools have always had metal detectors.
- Google has always been a verb. And what's a googol?
- Their dad has never had long hair. ;)
Friday, September 11, 2009
Explaining 9/11 to a 6-year-old
Wow. That was difficult. I didn't know what they would say at school, if anything. So I explained 9/11 to Joey today on the way to school this morning. I told him that on September 11, 2001, America was attacked. They ran airplanes into two large buildings as well as "the place where the Army lives," which killed "thousands of Americans."
I should state at this point that Joey is very patriotic. He's studying the USA in class this year. All year long actually. He understands what it means to attack America.
He then asked me who did it. This is a sensitive subject. I told him it was a group of people who hate America called Al Qaeda. I didn't say anything about Islam or the middle eastern countries, as he goes to school with a very large proportion of middle-easterners and Muslims and didn't want him to start thinking unfounded bad things about his classmates.
I asked him if he understood that this country is at war, and he said yes. I told him that was why we are at war, and I saw it click in his eyes.
Then he asked me a very difficult question. "Why did they do it?" After a brief pause all I could say to him was that Al Qaeda likes seeing Americans die.
It's also strange to think that kids who were only 10-years-old when 9/11 happened are now going over to Afghanistan to (hopefully) finish things off.
*sigh*
I should state at this point that Joey is very patriotic. He's studying the USA in class this year. All year long actually. He understands what it means to attack America.
He then asked me who did it. This is a sensitive subject. I told him it was a group of people who hate America called Al Qaeda. I didn't say anything about Islam or the middle eastern countries, as he goes to school with a very large proportion of middle-easterners and Muslims and didn't want him to start thinking unfounded bad things about his classmates.
I asked him if he understood that this country is at war, and he said yes. I told him that was why we are at war, and I saw it click in his eyes.
Then he asked me a very difficult question. "Why did they do it?" After a brief pause all I could say to him was that Al Qaeda likes seeing Americans die.
It's also strange to think that kids who were only 10-years-old when 9/11 happened are now going over to Afghanistan to (hopefully) finish things off.
*sigh*
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Top 10 Reasons to Not Blog for a Month
10) Laziness
9) Nothing to write about
8) The children are healthy
7) Evony
6) Neverwinter Nights 2
5) Coitus
4) Is there really anybody out there?
3) George Bush
2) Barack Obama
1) FACEBOOK
More to come later. :)
9) Nothing to write about
8) The children are healthy
7) Evony
6) Neverwinter Nights 2
5) Coitus
4) Is there really anybody out there?
3) George Bush
2) Barack Obama
1) FACEBOOK
More to come later. :)
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Seen on Facebook
"Why Oh why did I vote for Obama? That hope and change seem like a bunch of BS. Trillion dollar healthcare plans, higher taxes , and endless lies about ending wars. Don't even get me started on Americorps."
I'm not gloating.
I'm not gloating.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
80072efd Windows Update
For the sake of posterity, I'm posting this. Hello Googlers!
Ok so it turns out I had the remnants of a virus on my machine. The virus is long gone, but when I did a "netsh winhttp show proxy" it showed that I was pointing to localhost:7171. Fortunately whatever virus did that is now gone.
So here's the deal. First of all, I'm NOT responsible for what happens to your computer, I'm just offering advice that worked for me. Anyway, If you get this error and you've gone through everything else to no avail, fire up a command prompt. That is, go to Start--Run and type "cmd.exe" and hit enter.
At this point type "netsh winhttp reset proxy" and hit enter.
Enjoy your new Windows updates.
Ok so it turns out I had the remnants of a virus on my machine. The virus is long gone, but when I did a "netsh winhttp show proxy" it showed that I was pointing to localhost:7171. Fortunately whatever virus did that is now gone.
So here's the deal. First of all, I'm NOT responsible for what happens to your computer, I'm just offering advice that worked for me. Anyway, If you get this error and you've gone through everything else to no avail, fire up a command prompt. That is, go to Start--Run and type "cmd.exe" and hit enter.
At this point type "netsh winhttp reset proxy" and hit enter.
Enjoy your new Windows updates.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Trillions!
1.38T for SS/Medicare/Medicaid + 758B for housing & commerce (bailouts) + 690B defense + 106B unemployment = apprx 4 TRILLION dollars government spending. in 1 year! YOU voted for this, America! Hope and Change sure is expensive.
Sorry Joey, Emma, and Andy. You and your kids will have to pay for this. :(
4 of these: http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=12754
Sorry Joey, Emma, and Andy. You and your kids will have to pay for this. :(
4 of these: http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=12754
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Texas Drivers!
When on the open highway, Texans have a few unique characteristics. And I'm not just stereotyping, I've put myself in the habit of not looking at plates. I can immediately recognize someone who is from Texas. Look at their plates and 8 times out of 10 they are from Texas. 1 time out of 10 they're from Kalifornia.
Cat and Mouse:
A Texan will come up behind you like a bat out of hell, then get right on your ass, but will not pass. If you gun it up to 80 or so to put yourself a hundred yards ahead of him, he will gun it to 90 to catch up with you, get back on your ass, and stay there.
If you happen to get into traffic and play the passing game for a while, he'll probably fall way behind you. Within 10 minutes or so you'll completely lose sight of him in your rearview mirror. 20 minutes later, here he comes, zooming past you at 90. At this point, he'll either get in front of you and slow down (see Pass and Slow), or he'll get out of sight in front of you. If he gets out of sight in front of you, chances are 50% that you'll pass him like he's standing still later. Then we go back to step 1.
None Shall Pass:
Texans HATE to have another vehicle in front of them, except for when they're playing Cat and Mouse. If you attempt to pass a Texan, they will speed up. It never fails. NEVER. The only way to pass a Texan is to speed up 7 - 10mph and take the chance of getting a ticket. If you do happen to get past a Texan, they will either begin Cat and Mouse or Pass and Slow. This WILL happen to you if you pass a Texan and don't want to change your speed to about 7 - 10mph faster than you were going before.
Pass and Slow:
This is a trademark Texan move. Like I said, Texans HATE to have another vehicle in front of them. When a Texan is finished playing Cat and Mouse or if you happen to overtake him and get past his None Shall Pass, then you'll fall victim to Pass and Slow.
The Texan will decide that he wants to go about 5mph faster than you. He'll pass you (without using his turn signal of course), and he will get back into the right lane just soon enough to make you have to tap your breaks. In other words, he'll cut you off. Here's the kicker. He'll then slow down about 1-2mph SLOWER than you! Yeah. He will.
So what do you do? Go past him? See None Shall Pass and Cat and Mouse.
You would think that driving from STL to Madison and back you wouldn't run into too many Texans. Texans are like West Nile, there's some everywhere you go.
Here's the worst part. I don't think they realize they do any of the above. But they almost all do when on the open highway. In fact, when they do a Pass and Slow and you pass them, maintaining your speed and not cutting them off, they get pissed and they think you got in front of them and slowed down! It's true!
Next time you see one of these maneuvers, take a look at the plate. I betcha it will be Texas!
Cat and Mouse:
A Texan will come up behind you like a bat out of hell, then get right on your ass, but will not pass. If you gun it up to 80 or so to put yourself a hundred yards ahead of him, he will gun it to 90 to catch up with you, get back on your ass, and stay there.
If you happen to get into traffic and play the passing game for a while, he'll probably fall way behind you. Within 10 minutes or so you'll completely lose sight of him in your rearview mirror. 20 minutes later, here he comes, zooming past you at 90. At this point, he'll either get in front of you and slow down (see Pass and Slow), or he'll get out of sight in front of you. If he gets out of sight in front of you, chances are 50% that you'll pass him like he's standing still later. Then we go back to step 1.
None Shall Pass:
Texans HATE to have another vehicle in front of them, except for when they're playing Cat and Mouse. If you attempt to pass a Texan, they will speed up. It never fails. NEVER. The only way to pass a Texan is to speed up 7 - 10mph and take the chance of getting a ticket. If you do happen to get past a Texan, they will either begin Cat and Mouse or Pass and Slow. This WILL happen to you if you pass a Texan and don't want to change your speed to about 7 - 10mph faster than you were going before.
Pass and Slow:
This is a trademark Texan move. Like I said, Texans HATE to have another vehicle in front of them. When a Texan is finished playing Cat and Mouse or if you happen to overtake him and get past his None Shall Pass, then you'll fall victim to Pass and Slow.
The Texan will decide that he wants to go about 5mph faster than you. He'll pass you (without using his turn signal of course), and he will get back into the right lane just soon enough to make you have to tap your breaks. In other words, he'll cut you off. Here's the kicker. He'll then slow down about 1-2mph SLOWER than you! Yeah. He will.
So what do you do? Go past him? See None Shall Pass and Cat and Mouse.
You would think that driving from STL to Madison and back you wouldn't run into too many Texans. Texans are like West Nile, there's some everywhere you go.
Here's the worst part. I don't think they realize they do any of the above. But they almost all do when on the open highway. In fact, when they do a Pass and Slow and you pass them, maintaining your speed and not cutting them off, they get pissed and they think you got in front of them and slowed down! It's true!
Next time you see one of these maneuvers, take a look at the plate. I betcha it will be Texas!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Overheard on Facebook
Person 1: Why does really good news have to be tempered with a minor glitch
Person 2: For the same reason really bad news has to be tempered with a silver lining.
Person 2: For the same reason really bad news has to be tempered with a silver lining.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Another reason I dislike iTunes
Ok so this month's Guitar World has Round and Round by Ratt transcribed. If you know me then you know that I probably like this song and that I probably liked it before the 1980s were cool again. Ok, bad word choice. The 1980s weren't even cool in the 1980s.
So I sat down and started messing around with it. I've always been able to fake my way through that song, as I could pretty much any other 3-chord pop-rock song. But now that it's transcribed in front of me I can attempt to play it note-for-note, and that song actually has a pretty darn cool guitar part to it if you just listen to the "first" rhythm guitar.
I then decided it was time to listen to it. Ok lemme go throw it on my iPod. Oh wait. I don't own a LEGAL copy of that song. And I'm trying to legitimize my music collection. So I pull up iTunes.
A stupid song by a goofy band from 1984 should be on iTunes' cheap list, which means it should go for $0.69 or something like that. But I expected with this 1980s revival thing going on that it would be a $0.99 download instead.
Nope. $1.29. Yeah, the expensive one for popular music.
Amazon: $0.99. Even for the 2007 remastered version which does sound significantly better.
*sigh*
So I sat down and started messing around with it. I've always been able to fake my way through that song, as I could pretty much any other 3-chord pop-rock song. But now that it's transcribed in front of me I can attempt to play it note-for-note, and that song actually has a pretty darn cool guitar part to it if you just listen to the "first" rhythm guitar.
I then decided it was time to listen to it. Ok lemme go throw it on my iPod. Oh wait. I don't own a LEGAL copy of that song. And I'm trying to legitimize my music collection. So I pull up iTunes.
A stupid song by a goofy band from 1984 should be on iTunes' cheap list, which means it should go for $0.69 or something like that. But I expected with this 1980s revival thing going on that it would be a $0.99 download instead.
Nope. $1.29. Yeah, the expensive one for popular music.
Amazon: $0.99. Even for the 2007 remastered version which does sound significantly better.
*sigh*
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Ron Popeil - The OG of Pitchmen
So I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to go on living in a world without Billy Mays. Who will peddle useless junk to my stepfather now?
Vince? Hell no. He stole from Billy. He will burn in hell.
Then I realized that Ron Popeil is still around. Yeah. He's the OG of pitchmen. If he hawks it, my stepdad will buy it.
We love you Ron. Don't die on us.
Vince? Hell no. He stole from Billy. He will burn in hell.
Then I realized that Ron Popeil is still around. Yeah. He's the OG of pitchmen. If he hawks it, my stepdad will buy it.
We love you Ron. Don't die on us.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Mason School of Academic and Cultural Literacy
"We have some wonderful news for the upcoming school year! Mason has been approved to be a pilot school. Our pilot school will focus on academic and cultural literacy which is why we are updating our name to Mason - School of Academic and Cultural Literacy. We will be exploring the world around us and celebrating our unique diversity that can be found within our building."
Hmm. Interesting. We'll see how this goes. I still plan on pulling them and sending them to St. Joan of Arc once they're all old enough to be out of the babysitter.
High school is going to be EXPENSIVE!
Hmm. Interesting. We'll see how this goes. I still plan on pulling them and sending them to St. Joan of Arc once they're all old enough to be out of the babysitter.
High school is going to be EXPENSIVE!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I wonder how long it will be...
...before the secret police break into my house in the middle of the night and take me away from my children because I still have some incandescent light bulbs in use. My guess is sometime in this administration's second term.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The buildup continues... But who cares, right?
So Iran is starting to drop the hammer on their citizens who protest. It's to the point to where people know that if they go out to protest they could become "martyrs." Mackmud Amnijinishit or whatever his name is, was actually one of the terrorists who held US citizens captive in Lebanon 30 years ago, thereabouts. This has been confirmed!
A little further away, Kim Jun Hell or whatever his name is, continues throwing his little temper tantrum. He's trying to start a war and has threatened to wipe the US off the map for once and for all. Nobody knows what to do about that ship headed for Myanmar.
But who cares about this because John and Kate are getting divorced! Who the hell are John and Kate? And why is Fox News even covering this shit when we're seconds away from nuclear hell?
What is this, Kanadia or something?
A little further away, Kim Jun Hell or whatever his name is, continues throwing his little temper tantrum. He's trying to start a war and has threatened to wipe the US off the map for once and for all. Nobody knows what to do about that ship headed for Myanmar.
But who cares about this because John and Kate are getting divorced! Who the hell are John and Kate? And why is Fox News even covering this shit when we're seconds away from nuclear hell?
What is this, Kanadia or something?
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